Poetry

HOW TO TELL WHEN

 HOW TO TELL WHEN

HOW TO TELL WHEN YOU'VE BEEN IN THE ARMY TOO LONG
a.. Hoah! is your answer to every question in life.
b.. You make your kids pull fireguard and cq.
c.. Your family's favorite hair style is a high and tight.
d.. You have a perimeter set up around your house that even Rambo wouldn't want
to fool with.
e.. You see no problem with wearing BDU's to church.
f.. You make your kids fill out a sick call slip when they stay home from
school.
g.. Smoking has two meanings for you.
h.. Your kids can do the 15 count inspection arms in their sleep.
i.. You place sector stakes on the front porch.
j.. When camping, your family must dig a defelade for your RV.
k.. Your kids must clear housing when they leave for college.
l.. When "dig in and do the work" really means DIG.
m.. Edge the sidewalk in front of your house with an E-Tool
n.. Your nicest set of clothes is your "Class A's"
o.. You cut the grass in a set of jungle boots, Army PT shirt, and cut off
BDUs.
p.. Every time you hang up the phone you say "Out" instead of "Bye."
q.. You have more sets of BDUs than civilian clothes.
r.. You annoy your family with your favorite cadences.
s.. Your dog's name is Ranger.
t.. You look forward to getting your clothing allowance each year so you can
actually shop a little.
u.. You own more pairs of combat boots than all of your shoes combined.
v.. You go bowling with your buddies and as each person goes you yell, "Fire in
the hole!!"
w.. Your family thinks nothing's wrong when you've been gone for at least a
month.
x.. You think waking up at 7am in sleeping in.
y.. Your family's best friends are in the Army too.
z.. You can't tell your parents what you do for a living because it's
classified.
aa.. You jump for joy when you have a few extra bucks after paying the bills so
you can get groceries.
ab.. You tell little kids playing hide-and-seek that it would work better in
BDUs.
ac.. Your stomach can't handle "real food" anymore, only MREs and T-Rats.
ad.. You can't understand the fascination people have with being able to drive
HUM-Vs around and playing with guns.



contributed by Desiree Hollister [This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.