This is Me
I think I may have finally learned the meaning of lonliness.
It's such an empty feeling...There is nothing to grasp a hold to.
Many nights I sit at the dinner table or lay in bed and I wonder
where my husband is. Is he safe? Am I going to hear his voice
I cry out of pure desperation. Sometimes I cry and its for so
many reasons that I can't name simply one. Everything is done
alone...waking up in the morning...dance recitals...school
functions...grocery shopping...movies...walks in the park and
strolls on the beach. Each day is spent alone and I long for
darkness to fall. Darkness means I'm ending yet another lonely
day and I'm closer to being in his arms.
Married to a ghost? Sometimes that feeling can take over and
I feel overwhelmed. I look at my children and know that I must
stay strong for them. Lord only knows, they want Daddy home
as much as I do.
How can one describe lonliness and emptiness? How can one
put into words how it feels to have your heart ripped out time and
time again for weeks and months at a time? One can't...There
are no words.
But, I push on and stay strong for my man and my children. Even
through my tears, I never waiver from my job as the backbone and
reassurer. I never forget that he's in my heart even when he's not
in our home.
This is me...I'm the wife of a Sailor.
Tamika A. Easterday
Wife of Petty Officer Jeremy Easterday; USS Philadelphia
Subase Groton, Connecticut